Posted by Racer on January 24, 2006, at 17:43:01
In reply to Re: repeating old patterns? need advice! » crazy teresa, posted by JenStar on January 12, 2006, at 10:11:14
> >> Is htere something wrong with me? (Probalby...maybe don't answer this!)
>
> JenStarSorry, gonna answer anyway: Yeah, there is something wrong with you -- some woman is harrassing you! Otherwise, nope, not a thing. In fact, I'd guess that half the reason you've got this problem is that you're kind, you're able to empathize with others, which is what attracts them to you. It's that rusty iron lining to that golden cloud, you know?
I hope things are getting better, JenStar. Having read that description, though, I'd offer a little different advice: Keep bringing her back to the point when she does corner you. "I don't agree with your lawsuit." "I cannot support you in this lawsuit." "I'm not sure you understand what I'm trying to say: I don't want to hear about this lawsuit of yours, because I think it's immoral." Just gently keep on point with your message. And if she starts talking about how you're hurting her feelings, gently express your feeling that she is not being respectful of *your* feelings, because if she were, she'd stop talking to you about her lawsuit.
My guess is that she's looking for the attention, and if you consistently -- but gently -- refuse to meet that need, she will lose interest and move on. It's also good practice for you in defending your boundaries, because this is a boundary issue, after all.
Who said "good fences make good neighbors?" "Good boundaries make good relationships..."
Good luck, to a good JenStar...
poster:Racer
thread:597349
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060124/msgs/602427.html