Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2006, at 22:55:45
In reply to Re: Sorry, I have to disagree » Emily Elizabeth, posted by Gabbix2 on January 18, 2006, at 22:27:46
Maybe my poorly behaved puppies are a blessing in disguise. They perform wonderfully as a natural consequence. I always just tell my son to look around on the dog beds for what remains of his lost toys, then remind him that whatever is on the floor is considered by them to be left there for their amusement.
So he has a Jedi contingent that looks like they're the remnants of the Battle of Geonosis. Missing limbs and heads. But they're now carefully stored in a box with a top that clicks shut.
But... I also don't consider it my "job" to pick up after anybody. And nobody considers it their "job" to pick up after me.
Maybe that makes a big difference. I have a fairly high tolerance for mess. (Not dirt, but mess). And maybe because our son's an "only" there's a strong recognition in the house that everyone has a duty to clean up after his/her self and to chip in with the household chores. And the only "punishment" is a tedious discussion on how we're all a family and we all have duties and responsibilities and we count on each other.
And of course, my son was a Montessori child. Cleaning up was part of learning.
I don't know. But I consider that if a mom has to put toys for sale on eBay, that something's already gone wrong that didn't have to go wrong. There's already a lack of mutual respect in that house that's just added to by a mom appropriating items that are not hers and selling them.
Or maybe my son's a saintly blessing. :)
Actually, this also reminds me of a conversation my husband and I had with a family therapist about parenting and authoritativeness.
Therapist: When your son is grown, who will be the reason he does the right thing?
(hint. The answer she was going for was "my son")
Husband: The police.
Therapist: Ok. And who else?
Husband: His boss.
Therapist: That's true. And if his boss isn't around?
etc.
poster:Dinah
thread:600232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060115/msgs/600573.html