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Re: Am i the only one who has done this ? » bird in the sky

Posted by Larry Hoover on December 29, 2005, at 17:06:42

In reply to Re: Am i the only one who has done this ?, posted by bird in the sky on December 29, 2005, at 14:16:58

> It does make me feel better that you have rec'd calls similiar to mine. Were they women or men? i am curious. I have heard of men doing it to women and it seems like maybe it should be against the law. But for some reason when a woman does it, it doesnt seem as bad? I dont agree with my own logic, it just seems that way.

It was a woman. I wouldn't consider a man doing it to be the same thing.

> i reason the sound is not offensive and the listener may not even know what it is.

That's verging on a total rationalization. I don't think that there are ways to "normalize" what you're talking about doing. It sounds like you're trying to find a way to continue to do this, if somehow it can be found to be inoffensive? I don't think that's a reasonable expectation. Or do the people you're calling know what's truly going on? I didn't get that impression.

> it is very comforting to know that someone (that i like and respect, but not necessarily am horny for) has heard me. It's when my emotions are real intense and somehow it goes to my crotch and i feel like i just have to release and share it. I haven't been doing it for quite a while, but the desire is still strong.

There are many issues, but most especially consent. I suspect you do not have your recipients' consent? And what about the violation of intimacy with respect to your spouse?

> I don't want to bother these people i like and respect, but i think about it quite a lot and i think i release in other ways that are misdirected.
>

If I understand you correctly, you misdirect energy that could have gone into this behaviour? I'm sorry if anything I have said has led you to believe that I think that it is reasonable or (I struggle with what word is best) acceptable to continue to do this, without all parties being totally aware of just what is going on.

> I don't know what to do. I have told my therapist. It would be comfortable to me if the listener was not bothered by it. i think...

I hope your therapist helps you to understand what motivates you to do this, before you get into some real trouble. I'm reasonably certain that there are many people who would not be magnanimous towards you, upon discovery.

Lar

 

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poster:Larry Hoover thread:592909
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051225/msgs/593178.html