Posted by TexasChic on October 29, 2005, at 21:25:11
In reply to Would anyone like to comment » Declan, posted by Declan on October 29, 2005, at 15:10:46
Thanks for the responses and advice everyone. It gives me alot to think about.
Yesterday at work I had absolutely decided that I was NOT going. Then it occured to me that what I was really trying to do was get a response out of him. And from past experience this always backfires on me and makes me feel worse. Plus its manipulative and I don't really want to be that way. So I went. And we ended up having a blast. I kept telling him I was willing good vibes and positive energy in his direction (holding my forehead in deep concentration), and he bowled the best game of his life! It was pretty cool. Everytime he bowled, he would look back at me (and I was cheering and woohooing away). It felt like it was just the two of us there. We laughed about the terrible music the bowling alley was playing (every single song I ever hated in the 80's - literally!) And we talked indept about music in general, which I always felt was part of our connection.
Of course I bowled a 60, which is normal for me. I told him it was because I gave him all my positive energy. Actually I'm just really bad and can't seem to improve no matter how many times I go. I think I don't care enough to improve, I've never been very competitive. I told him once the only reason I came to these bowling things was to hang out with him (in a brave, and suprisingly sober moment). He just got real imbarassed and said thanks.
Anyway, despite the good time, I'm still determined that HE will have to make the move if he wants to take things to the next level. I've gone above and beyond. Otherwise, I guess I'll just enjoy the flirting and the fantasy.
I was depressed all week because I decided I needed to give up on him. But I realized I didn't have to give up, but to just make sure I have other things going on in my life so it doesn't become an obsession. I'm still working on that part.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:572466
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051029/msgs/573202.html