Posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 15:47:32
In reply to F*ck Walmart, posted by Deneb on October 15, 2005, at 15:27:44
Ah. Seems there was a lot more going on than I thought. I'm sorry people. :-(
>I started this thread because I was angry at you for telling me to put triggers up when I was in such an obviously distraught state.
The trouble is... That Rainbow was in a distraught state too.
>To me it seemed like you just wanted to upset me even more and push me to suicide. Yes, I was that upset.
And to Rainbow your response seemed to ignore her distress completely...
And when that happens...
People will withdraw from you.> I thought that you were being selfish because your hurt wouldn't lead you to kill yourself,
You can't know that. Or... At the very least it is a dangerous assumption to be making.
> but your trying to alleviate your hurt could have possibility lead me to suicide and yet you still did it.
The trouble is... We can't prevent you killing yourself if that is what you really want to do. Even if you are doing it as a matter of principal. If you really are determined then there is nothing we can do.
And...
People do try and talk to you to help you see things a little more clearly. People do talk to you about what you can do to get help IRL. People do talk to you about how things aren't irrevokable and how you still do have a future etc.
But all that... Takes an immense amount of effort. And when you don't seem to be willing to help yourself when you don't seem to be willing to even contact your doctor or to take your meds regularly or to contact someone irl for help... Well... If you are determined then there is nothing we can do.
People only have so much energy...
People try and get outside their distress to reach out to you in yours. But you really do need to try and be sensitive to that. Sensitive to other peoples distress. If you ignore their distress, if you don't appreciate that when people try and reach out to you that that takes a lot of effort then I think you will find... That people will get fed up. And ignore your distress. And turn toward supporting other people in theirs, other people who are more sensitive to others distress, other people who are willing to implement some of those concrete suggestions in their real life.
I have always tried to support you as best I can...
But we can only do so much on the boards.
It is up to you.
What are you going to do?Go to your doctor.
Maybe have some time in hospital to get yourself together.
To get yourself established on your meds.> That is how badly I felt. It is selfish yes. That's all I can say.
It is hard to empathise with others when one is very upset. I understand that. But you need to learn to act empathetically to others despite whether you actually feel it or not. One can feel one way... And act different. It is hard... But sometimes... One needs to learn.
> There is no rhyme or reason to how I feel. I'm insane, remember that.
You are really stressed about mid terms and missing some mid terms. Its understandable to be feeling stressed about now. Whats problematic... Is the intensity of your distress and how that blinkers your vision.
> They don't have *any* ropes.
>
> It must be the season change, no more boating supplies.
>
> Bought something else instead.
>
> Damn Walmart to hell
>
> I smelled a familar scent today...that of death.I'm not going to respond to posts like that.
No more.Get some help IRL.
People have offered some really great suggestions to you.The choice is up to you...
I don't think you want to die
I think you want the pain to stop
I think you want to learn how to properly connect to others
I think you want to do things with your life and believe you are capable of doing themBut maybe you will choose to anyway.
I know you don't want the choice...
You want others to take it out of your hands
But other people can't save youIt is up to you...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:566599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051015/msgs/567220.html