Posted by KaraS on May 19, 2005, at 21:35:13
In reply to sinking deeper and deeper....*trigger warning*, posted by alesta on May 17, 2005, at 15:53:25
> every day i get gradually more and more depressed..last night i realized that i feel numb, overwhelmed, irritable, and unable to handle life's pressures (i felt all of that before, but to an overwhelming degree now). i told my mom yesterday that i need her to take me to GNC to get something for depression...she says "no, you don't need anything"..but she's taking an antidepressant herself!!! the woman does not have any empathy. she tells me i'm not depressed and i just need to do this or do that and i'll be fine. this seems really cruel to me, b/c she knows what depression feels like..has been on AD's for years...never without..yet i'm supposed to be fine w/out them? i now realize that getting something for depression needs to be my first priority. i think about suicide constantly.
>
> my zest for life or any evidence of that is gone. my thinking processes..gone. desire to live also nil. i am not myself. i am just here..in this void. it is soooo hard to do *anything*. life feels so overwhelming. my mom complains that i'm not doing things..she doesn't comprehend why, even though i tell her. it's funny how i wait until i am totally bad off before i'll take anything for the depression. sorry...bummer post. i barely have the energy/wherewithal to write this post. thanks for listening. just needed to share that. i hesitate to write these kinds of posts..really don't want to bring anyone down. i don't want anyone in a bad state themselves to feel any obligation to reply, please. i just needed to get this out. thank you for reading..that's all i needed.:)..amy
Amy,I hope you're still reading the messages of support here even though you've been blocked. Your first move has to be to find a free clinic or some kind of free outpatient program like Tamara said. Is there any way you could commit yourself to a hospital? That way you could get medication, support AND get away from your mother.
Here's a fantastic website that helped me to find free and low-cost medical and psychological help. Just type in your city and it will give you lots of good information.
http://www.ihatemylife.us/medical.html
You can also call the local NAMI office. They offer support groups and answer questions.
You're dealing with a lot right now and it's very hard to do it without any medication. Your mother is way beyond narcissistic if she can't empathize with your depression and need for medication even though she's on medication herself. Just unbelievable!! Try to ignore her or just put up with her until you're well enough to go out on your own (I know that's easier said than done.) Just keep trying to focus on getting well enough to be out on your own and remember that that state of mind can be just a little medication and help away....((((alesta))))
K
poster:KaraS
thread:499020
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050513/msgs/500130.html