Posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2005, at 8:42:39
In reply to Partlycloudy, How'd it go?, posted by Dinah on May 9, 2005, at 19:50:10
What a l-o-n-g day it was yesterday. I gave my 2 weeks' notice to my boss and her boss (the "real" one) and the relief on their faces upset me a bit, but I decided not to take it personally.
Then the rest of the day was intermittent tears and drying up as I told some of my co-workers what I'd done. It seems that people just have to reveal a flash of sympathy towards me and I'm set off again. I have the same reaction if anyone is ever mean to me, too. Just a cry baby, really.I offered to work beyond the 2 week period to help train my replacement as I'm able and available, and they seemed satisfied with that.
It's funny. I don't feel the sense of failure that I was anticipating when I decided to throw in the towel at work. Instead, I'm just very sad. It's a good, relatively easy job, except for the being "on" for the duration of the day. There has never been any room there for having a bad day, and that's been my struggle. The people I work with to a person are lovely - thoughtful, caring, and polite. The accommodations my employer made for all my appointments and absences; the 2 month sick leave that apparently wasn't enough; they took it all with great understanding and sensitivity.
Underneath it, I sense that the real reason for my departure - my mental illness - is something that no one here is prepared to hear about or understand. It's enough for me to say that I'm leaving for "personal health reasons", as I put it, and the smile I'm looking at becomes a bit fixed, and the eyes glaze over somewhat. Could be that I'm hypersensitive (could very well be that), but I know that I have done the right thing for me, and for my employer.
Meanwhile, I am anticipating a trip home. To see my mum, my brothers, and to meet, for the first time, justyourlaugh, in person. The last item is something I've been wanting to do for over a year and the visit to Canada just never happened.
So I have lots to look forward to.
I see my therapist this week. I don't think she'll be the least bit surprised, and instead will be pleased with what I've done. She thought that I went back to work too quickly in the first place.I'm still very tired. Very depressed. And relieved.
pc
poster:partlycloudy
thread:495737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050503/msgs/495947.html