Posted by Shy_Girl on March 13, 2005, at 23:05:10
This sucks...this really freaking sucks. Sigh, what the f*** is wrong with me! Why can't I just enjoy life? Life isn't even that bad for me!!! I hate this, I wish I could start over...reincarnate, then I can start things right. I'm a horrible person, I'm jealous when I see kids happy, hugging their parents, with nothing to worry about. I was such a weird child...I think I had some serious problems...why didn't anyone help me??? I think I've always been this way...no one cared to notice. Is it normal for a child to have horrible, terrifying panic attacks and feelings of derealization/depersonalization, extreme anger and rage during the night, and only have fun with one's own imagination and never have any friends!!!
I don't care what happens to me anymore. When I see my psychiatrist on Tues, I'm going to demand that I try every medication out there...I don't care if it doesn't fix me, I don't want to feel anymore. She may be right in thinking that there is nothing seriously wrong with me, but I don't care...I don't care if I cannot think, I want some serious meds to put me out of my misery. I've been on the stupid Celexa for a few weeks now...shouldn't it work by now??? Maybe meds don't matter for me because I don't have a biological basis for this state I'm in, but I don't care, I want to mess up my brain.
poster:Shy_Girl
thread:470710
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050305/msgs/470710.html