Posted by Snoozin on January 26, 2005, at 12:36:46
In reply to me, posted by spiacente on January 26, 2005, at 12:13:18
Hey,
I'm so sorry you are hurting right now. I know how that feels, and relationship issues almost always escalate feelings of depression, at least for me.
Some comments:
1) I don't know what you posted or sent her as e-mails that was mean, but the most mature and ethical thing to do would be to own up to it and apologize sincerely. I know that's hard to do, but if you do it, you will feel better, and you will know you are being the best person you possibly can toward her. You should be the best person you can be for everyone, but especially for those you love. We all make mistakes. We are human. My favorite saying: *We all make mistakes. A good person apologizes for them. A great person fixes them.* :-)
2) Her letter seems really age-appropriate (she's 15, right?). It is very, very common for teens (and even much older) to think they want a relationship, and then decide they don't, and then even decide they do again. She is *not* condemning you as a person at all. She says she really likes you and wants to be friends! But she is saying she doesn't want a relationship right now. For whatever reason. Sometimes people, especially teens, aren't even sure *why* they don't want a relationship. It really isn't personal. Really.
I wish I could help ease your pain a bit. Trust me, I know how much failed or hurting relationships can devastate you. The thing that has gotten me through this is to concentrate on valuing myself. To be the best person I can be. So no matter how much the other person screws up, I know I've done my best.
Hang in there. If it doesn't hurt to much, why don't you reach out to her in *friendship,* and not love? If it *does* hurt too much, the best thing to do is stay away from her for a while.
You will love, and you will be loved, again. Probably several times in life. :-)
Take good care,
Susan
poster:Snoozin
thread:448120
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050123/msgs/448135.html