Posted by trucker on January 13, 2005, at 11:58:11
In reply to Re: strength » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 10:36:00
i have a good protection mechanism.. and i am glad for that. esp since i am home now by myself for two months at a time. it enables me to deal with what comes my way here. since there is no one here to rely on. i am from another state and no hardly abody up here. and the ones that i knew i had to put their husband in jail for third degree rape and third degree sodomy of my step daughter. she was 14 he was 27 and married and my neighbor. so life here isn't good either. the area is devided over the issue and look at me like i am butt for having him arrested and jailed twice. so i am alone. i do understand that childhood wasn't my fault. and each day i realize just how much the action affected my life and there is where the anger comes in.
trucker
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> I'm sorry that you have had your childhood stolen from you and the type of mother that you had but it is good that you were able to stay strong. I also come from a childhood of molestation from a family member and an attempted rape by a stranger when I was only 8. Unlike you, I am weak. My mother was unaware of my molestation and still is today so she did not enable mine. I don't understand why a mother such as yours who says she didn't want you, why she didn't give you up for adoption instead of keeping you and putting you through a childhood of hell. I will never understand that. I will also never understand the mentality of someone who says that a 3 yr old brings on and is to be blamed for being raped. What kind of mentality is that? I hope you know that it is NOT your fault. You were an innocent child. It pains me to hear that your horrors continued into your adulthood. I see nothing wrong with you keeping your guard up. You have a lot to work out in therapy. Instead it is hard to let your guard down. It is a protection mechanism.
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poster:trucker
thread:430684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050106/msgs/441613.html