Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 25, 2004, at 4:13:24
In reply to Re: Why » AdaGrace, posted by Susan47 on December 24, 2004, at 23:40:54
Susan,
I wish that there was something that I could say to make it all better, for you and for me. I know how it feels to be ugly, to be repulsive to so many people, including my family. What do you do when your family, who is supposed to love you 'no matter what', tells you that they'll only accept you if you fit into that rigid mold that was given you when you were growing up?
I have to struggle every single day with fear, and there are so many times I've considered and even tried to give up. I'm fotunate that I have friends around who haven't let me give up, but I still get SO terribly tired.
I know too, something of being ugly, and it hurts so much. It hurts more to know that part of that could have been avoided if my parents had a little more understanding and wisdom while I was growing up. I can't change my past though, or erase all of the horrible decisions that were made on my behalf. I may not be beautiful, but does that mean I should hide myself away?
Honestly though, for me it is still terrifying, and often my courage fails me. It takes alot of effort to be me, and sometimes I run out of strength. If you have friends like I do, and it sounds like you do, then you have some wonderful shoulders to lean on when your strenth does wane.Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:433617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041217/msgs/433953.html