Posted by Susan47 on December 24, 2004, at 23:55:27
In reply to Do you always know WHY you're depressed?, posted by Angel Girl on December 24, 2004, at 18:12:08
A feeling of wanting to die
a feeling of no hope
a feeling of complete disinterest
will suddenly grab me and suck the life out of everything I'm looking at, thinking about, or doing.
It's horrifying.It's very hard work to pull all the mental strings
in order to get the hope back,
and it requires me stepping backwards
before the horrid feeling
to what was I thinking about
just before that occurred.Sometimes I can do it, sometimes I can't.
If I'm successful, I may be able to formulate a cause and therefore come up with a mental solution.Otherwise, I have a few tokes. In any case, I have a few tokes. And at those times, lots of people around can really help, in two ways.
Sometimes the presence of people will make me cry, and that will release me from the desperation of feeling nothing.
Other times, the presence of people will draw me into interactions with them, and I'm usually okay at that, which puts the ghost of disinterest to rest.... until the next time.
poster:Susan47
thread:433865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041217/msgs/433947.html