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Re: Re: You keep moving the pointer » Gabbix2

Posted by 64bowtie on December 6, 2004, at 15:10:33

In reply to Re: I won't waste your time justifying myself.. » 64bowtie, posted by Gabbix2 on December 3, 2004, at 14:17:29

Gabbi,

<<< That said... If we have a bad feeling (as adults), it doesn't have to drive our lives since we are adults. We get to exercise options not availble to us as kids.

> Seldom do I see children letting bad feelings drive their lives, generally I see them feel what they are feeling get it over with and move on. >

<<< Without hitting the point with an 8-lbs sledge hammer, I am saying that we don't have options as kids, like we do as adults. If we actually matriculate into adulthood and leave our childhood where it is and what it was, we won't be stuck with the "no options available" status of childhood.

<<< I made no claims as to what kids do or don't do; I made no claims as to what kids do or don't do; let me repeat for the record, I made no claims as to what kids do or don't do. You did, and moved the pointer back to shame/blame of me and what I had said. Of course, maybe we have a style differences.

<<< Premise: kids who don't grow-up gracefully into adulthood, become grown-ups cathected to their enmeshement and bad-habits, which I categorically label as their rendition of dysfunction. Only 80% to 85% of the 5,000 stories I listened to around all those tables at all those 1,000 plus 12 step meetings over the 18 year period, slated their dysfunction. Most didn't know exactly what dysfunction was, but having massive failures do to enmeshments and bad-habits in their many lives, they were saying it without they themselves connecting the dots. It was eventually easy for me to pick up on the patterns they so freely shared with all who would actually listen.

<<< PS: Change doesn't have to mean loss of self...

>
> did I infer that?

<<< My guess is NO! My postings are mostly direct and not implicate. Inference would be a stretch...

<<< I simply tagged on a general reminder that we can all change without losing anything we hold sacred or otherwise valuable.

Rod

PS: <<< (another general tagline) when I struggled with my dysfunctions, I became certain of my information when I recycled the same faulty opinions and false beliefs a 1000 times a minute. I call this "mind-grind". It didn't take long before no one could change my mind because of all my self-serving certainty as a product of my "mind-grind". No one was successful at shaming me into recantation, a subtle and spirit-deadenning and incidious coercion technique well known and used. Today I do things different; I listen.....


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poster:64bowtie thread:425330
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041202/msgs/425330.html