Posted by saw on November 9, 2004, at 1:45:00
I have just received news (via email, not even to me, I was COPIED!), that my father is critically ill, in ICU isolation. They did not expect him to make it the night. His internal organs appear to be failing. He suffered a heart attack in the last three weeks and is still starved of oxygen because his heartbeat is so fast. He is on a ventilator and is sedated. He was given shock treatment but this didn't help much. He has clots in his lungs and is bleeding internally.
Now the awful thing is, is that I feel so strange about this. I am not at all close to my Dad. He wasn't there for me when I grew up and has not really been there in my adulthood. He has a somewhat eccentric personality but is incredibly withdrawn and introverted all the same. My son doesn't even recognize him as his grandfather. It is next to impossible to hold a conversation with him. I do not hate him, and I guess I love him because he is my father. I am not angry with him, he has not done anything to hurt me. We just have zero in common. And I have never really given it more energy than this. People always seem so surprised when I mention my father because they cannot imagine me having one! (That sounded strange).
But this news has shocked me and I find myself wondering how I will react when his time comes, which appears to be soon. The whole thing is so surreal. What am I going to feel? What am I going to do?
Sabrina
poster:saw
thread:413651
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041105/msgs/413651.html