Posted by shortelise on November 9, 2004, at 1:41:04
I've gone from black dog to black rat to black mouse to spider in my dreams.
I haven't had the kind of depression that last for months. I just get the fear abyss, the edge of nothingness that creeps toward my feet, that beckons, the dog barking in its depths. Fall in here, fall in, fall.
Then it recedes, and I am back among the laughing, moving friends, the people who get up in the morning and brush their teeth, whose sinks are not full of dirty dishes and whose clothes smell lemony fresh, whose baying hound lurks farther from their consiousness than does mine.
Have I lived too long with this panting buddy, my black companion who shrinks (no pun intended)and grows from monster to mouse? Is he like a cancer that can't be removed because he has grown into my tissues, into the blood vessels and sinews of me? Is fear too main a feeling, too central a station for me to give it up?
Does anyone get this?
Shortelise
poster:shortelise
thread:413648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041105/msgs/413648.html