Posted by moime on October 8, 2004, at 18:26:37
In reply to question about first impressions, posted by JenStar on October 1, 2004, at 11:52:41
> hi all,
> I have a question I wanted to ask, and find out what you guys think:
>
> Do you find that your first impressions about people (in real life or here) are usually correct? If not, how long does it take to change your mind, and what helps you change it?
> Do you have a good "people sense" or intuition that tells you when to trust someone and when to stay away? Do you have a good "radar" about people?
>
> I ask because I've been thinking a lot about a person, a friend, who (I think) has been taking advantage of me. My first impression was very negative about this person, but I tried to give her a second chance and told myself it was unfair to judge so quickly. Over time, it appears my 1st reaction was correct! I may have been trying harder to give her a chance, over and over again, because I was afraid that I was judging too unfairly in that first impression...maybe I waited too long to allow myself to change my mind.
>
> Any thoughts or experiences with this?
>
> JenStarI used to be a really good judge of character. It was kind of lonely, because good friends and good people don't grow on trees. Then I changed, for the worst I think, I began to drop my standards, thinking that I was "too hard" on people. Boy, did I ever get led down the rosy primrose path. I have other postings today. I just got out of a horrible relationship that I just jumped into not because I knew the guy, but because I was willing to take a RISK! WITH MYSELF! WITH MY MENTAL HEALTH! Boy, call that desperate. Now I am dealing with the fallout. I will begin to trust my instincts, and hone my ability to be attracted to those people who truly interest me for all the good reasons, not because I feel lonely and needy.
poster:moime
thread:397864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041001/msgs/400546.html