Posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 16, 2004, at 21:44:48
My friend and I met at a therapy group years ago. She and I shared a lot then. Even back then, my friend was a person that ran literly from her problems. She ran from project to project. I kept going to therapy and she kept on with moves, having children and divorcing and remarrying, etc. She would call me time to time. She would always promise to call and tell me she loved me as a friend. But, I had enough one day. I sat home waiting for the phone to ring like I had so many times and someting inside said, "ENOUGH!" I called her and told her how I felt about not ever calling me when promised and how she when I did talk to her she said nothing about herself anymore. She never really shared things about herself as the years went by. I heard a baby in the background one time when I called one time. I said, "Gee, that sounds like an infant." She said "That's my daughter." I was like, "What! We had talked many times and you never even told me you were pregnant!" She said, "It must must have slipped my mind." I was totally dumbfounded.
She of course made up excuses this last time around for not calling me, but even when she didn't have kids. She would promise to call me on a Friday night at 8:00 p.m. and no call. She would promise to send a letter and no letter was sent. I didn't trust her anymore. I didn't care what excuses she had. It was too many years of the same behavior, which she blamed on her personality. I said, this is a behavior problem and not a personality problem that I am not going to put up with any more. I don't know, but I believe when people act like this they are pushing others away. I told her that she has been pushing me away now for years, but now I am finishing this. I feel sad. I wonder why I have let this on so long. But, she had time for other friends when I called. After doing an inventory of my life, this is actually the 2nd time I had a friend like this. They are unavailable and unreliable. They stand me up. Except this time - I got the chance to say they hurt me and it was over. I hope this is a change for me in recognizing this, but it's still very painful.
poster:Shadowplayers721
thread:378422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040811/msgs/378422.html