Posted by gardenergirl on August 9, 2004, at 15:57:47
In reply to Re: When a friend stops being a friend, posted by TexasChic on August 9, 2004, at 10:57:10
> Thanks PC. I guess I needed to hear that. I have thought about the fact that I am changing and growing while she is settling, and how that might get to her. .... I'm going to go to some meetup.com meetings this week, so who knows who I'll meet?!
TC,
What a great insight you have here. I agree, when someone chages and grows, it can also change relationships. We've had threads going in the past here on how therapy can affect marriages. And perhaps friends. That being said, I know it still hurts, and I am also someone who feels bad and sometimes guilty about the loss. In one case, I literally asked myself: What am I getting from this person in this friendship? Is it worth the energy I am investing and the pain I am experiencing? The answer was a resounding "NO"! That made it a bit easier to let go of the friendship, which felt irreparably damaged anyway. Now when I look at what I read, that seems like a cold way to evaluate a friendship, but still, one-sided effort is not fair and I think is too hard to sustain through changes like boyfriends or work stress, or personal growth.I also love the idea of meetup.com. My husband and I are going to one for the first time tonight. It is for supporters of our local candidate for the US House. I'm excited, but nervous. We go in two hours. Wish I had posted this earlier so you could give me some tips!
Take care.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:375579
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040802/msgs/375702.html