Posted by Indie on July 16, 2004, at 22:28:06
In reply to I'm Confused Now, posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 21:58:44
> Do you want to know something?
I want to know everything that you have to tell!
> I had planned to slit my wrist again next week. There was a certain day that I was going to do it on.
PLEASE!!! Please post, write, call, send smoke signals before you do that. If you just disappeared from the board one day I would live with an eerie feeling, wondering what happened to you and fearing the worst. Trust me...it is not the way to go. My father and three others that were close to me have successfully suicided and it is dreadful for the people around you! I know, sometimes I forget this or feel that it is unfair of them to love me when all I want to do is cease to exist. I even attempted recently. (For which I feel never-ending guilt) However, the thought of another beautiful human being doing it snaps me straight back to reality. It is not the way to go.
> Our stories had an impact upon others? There was value in us opening up our past pains?
Yes!! A great impact!! I was just walking around the apartment to see if there might be a good place to hang myself. After I read your stories, I sat down to reply and now I am going to pick up my studies again and work on them until I fall asleep. I will admit that I am a bit irritated right now that I have to go on living, but your stories reminded me that NO human being should die by their own hand. It reminded me that only a sick mind thinks this way and that it WILL pass. I know it is an uphill climb but it will pass.
> I never expected the types of responses to my story. I am in awe of you all. You have made me very confused as to my worth. I really saw that my usefulness had come to an end. But your responses have touched me and have given me reason to pause.
And your stories have given me a reason to pause, even a reason to stop thinking about it altogether. I guess that is why this place exists. I can show you your value when you can't see it through the fog in your brain and you can show me mine.
For the last several days I have been turning to this forum to hear all of the stories of people who have been in this darkest of places and come out the other side. It gives me hope. Why don't we support one another and let the others remind us that it will pass?? Pretty please!
((((((Sandy))))))
poster:Indie
thread:366681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/367029.html