Posted by jay on July 4, 2004, at 12:03:26
In reply to Re: Ladies (and maybe guys)..I need your thoughts plz. » jay, posted by fallsfall on July 3, 2004, at 8:28:26
> She sits on her porch. You are her neighbor. Sometime when she is sitting on her porch you could arrange to be doing something outside, or take a walk around the block. Just say hi. Talk about the weather or the fireworks or say something brilliant like "I guess we're neighbors".
>
> There is something special about neighbors. They see you on good days and bad. It is harder to hide from your neighbors. Neighbors *CAN* end up being a constant in your life - perhaps you tell them a little bit each day so they do know what is current in your life. It can help to be careful of boundaries, though - just because you are home doesn't mean that you want to see her, just because you are mowing your grass doesn't mean you want to have a 1 hour conversation. Neighbors can be great when you need an extra pair of hands (moving the couch to a different room, jumpstarting your car). And you can usually borrow a cup of sugar or a couple of eggs...
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> There *can* be something to the "Boy next door"... Familiarity breeds comfort, comfort breeds openness, openness breeds understanding. Or, if you aren't very compatable, not.
>
> In my mind, good neighbors are more important than hot dates. If there is meant to be passion, it will grow in time (after all, you *do* know where to find her). If you push for passion and it doesn't work, then you will lose having a good neighbor (and it can be uncomfortable to be living next to someone you don't want to see).
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> You have an opportunity here. Enjoy it.Thank you Falls...this is super advice. I am far from rushing into *anything*, because I am still pretty fragile, and my mental health isn't still up too a better and consistent standard. I absolutely don't want to bring someone else into my mental health issues right now...as I don't think that would be fair. I honestly am not looking for passion...because with this illness not under control, it can be *very* dangerous.
A simple friendship would be nice, though, and as time goes on, we will see and that is what I may aim for. All of my past friends have abandoned me...and thus I have done so to them. I am still deeply wounded by a few who just quickly closed up shop and left town, and didn't say a single word to me. So...I've got issues...indeed!
I like your advise about time...and just letting the chips fall where they may. I now think that we often look at time and it's passing as being a bad thing...when in fact it is really a true healer, a good thing.
Thanks so much again...and peace and best to you...
Jay
poster:jay
thread:362689
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040626/msgs/363018.html