Posted by Scott in Vermont on June 25, 2004, at 7:54:27
In reply to Re: UP and bored » Scott in Vermont, posted by Racer on June 24, 2004, at 17:18:24
but will probably be leaving soon. I'm breaking. This is not a "happy" up like I thought it was. It's a very angry and frustrated "up". A lot of things I have been glossing over and pretending were ok are coming back on me. I have been irresponsible, I have been neglectful, and I have been avoiding. Now, I'm in a corner and there's nowhere left to run. The only "exit" I have right now is the window, and I'm going to jump (don't worry, it's a metaphor!) then tuck and roll when I hit, and try running again.
I don't want to deal with this divorce anymore. I don't want to deal with lawyers and courts and subpoenas and (edited, long rant with lots of bad words). And I'm sick of pdocs and T's and lost time off work and meds and being such a spaz. This is NOT WHO I AM, Dammit. I was never like this before, why now? Yes, I know the data and I know it's genetic and I know I know I know but I'm sick of it all and I don't care.
I have a meeting to go to. After that, I'm going home. I have a lot to think about.
-Scott
PS- This post is NOT a cry for help, I am NOT going off somewhere to pull my plug. I need space and time and answers and solutions and resolution, but I'm not giving up... I'm just running away for a while. Run, Scott, RUN!
poster:Scott in Vermont
thread:359883
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/360148.html