Posted by B2chica on June 22, 2004, at 13:33:45
In reply to Re: thanks Scott » B2chica, posted by Scott in Vermont on June 22, 2004, at 12:28:17
just looked over this sorry i rambled a bit.
>> Misery loves company... or at least understanding. I'm still struggling with the BPII diagnosis, I still want to believe that I'm just being ineffective with dealing with my own life issues.
Never doubt your insticts, even if their wrong they take you through a journey your mind needs. So get second and third opinions...i sure did. It took a while for me to accept this. Mostly cuz the one experience with Bipolar was my best friend in high school. She lost her fight last february. I saw my new Dx as a death sentence. So i started doing research up the wazoo and began to feel a lot more comfortable. Now at times when all the meds work i actually feel blessed to be bipolar, because i think i feel life more intensly than most.
>> I flip-flop a lot. Some days I accept it, other days I get really frustrated and deny that there is anything wrong at all. Being on Babble has helped me see my own denial, and slowly I'm starting to finally believe that I cannot excercise this away, and I cannot work harder (meaning dig a ditch or soemething, physical labor) and fix this, and I cannot ignore this and hope that it will just go away.
Sounds like you are headed in the right direction. just give yourself time. and i'll tell you , even after i got through the turmoil of accepting this diagnosis, there are the med issues and now for me this new journey of seeing a psychologist. Every stage Babble has been there. This place i believe has a large place in my getting through this new life. I reach out and others from all around are there. I love babble and honestly am afraid to think where i might be without it. I feel safe here. i feel unjudged and accepted for all i am.
>> But it still annoys me. I know how much I have lost from this... but at the same time, I have gained a lot as well. My T was talking to me about this, and she told me that BPII is one of the very few disorders that actually have a "positive" side in that the mania can be harnessed. She told me about famous people with great accomplishments who would have been diagnosed BPII.Ya, when i was reading this, it made me feel better as well. I've always had a big part in the ARTS so i loved reading about this. I will mention, if you ever have some spare time-go to your library and take a look at VanGough's journals. i think their comprised into three or four BIG books. I read through many and i kept seeing myself there...Reading things he wrote and said YES, he understands, he knew exactly how i feel! Though my heart aches for him since there was not medication like there is today, it was not understood, and he did suffer a lot.
>> I don't want fame, and the only accomplishment I want is to be a good man and a good father. That's enough for me.
Scott...what you just said has seeped into my heart. Just hearing a man say that makes me feel so good. Saying that shows what an incredible man and father you must be. How lucky your children are
b2c
poster:B2chica
thread:358667
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/359079.html