Posted by TexasChic on June 21, 2004, at 14:12:23
In reply to So hard *trigger*, posted by cubic_me on June 21, 2004, at 8:55:20
I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I know the ache too. I'm doing the fake smile today. I feel bad physically and mentally. I haven't had the suicidal thoughts for while though. I just can't imagine what it would do to my family, especially my precious nephew, who I love so much. He's being raised by less than stable parents. I know I have to try as hard as I can to be a positive presence in his life, because the consequences are too terrible for me to bare. It's likely he will have problems in life caused directly by his upbringing. He just doesn't have anyone else to be his advocate: my mom is narcissistic and worse than any of us, my brother lives an hour away and has so much to deal with in his own life already, my sister (his mother), well, she has the maturity of a 13 year old, and her boyfriend (his father) has many problems – he's been in and out of prison and has been known to drive drunk with my nephew in the car.
My nephew is the only thing that has stopped my suicidal thoughts. Being OCD, I constantly worry something bad is going to happen to him. If it did, that very well might be it for me.
Well, I started out trying to be helpful, and instead this turned out to be kind of a depressing. But I hope it help's to know you're not alone in the struggle to live.
poster:TexasChic
thread:358522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/358663.html