Posted by deirdrehbrt on June 16, 2004, at 12:48:19
In reply to Re: Accountability » deirdrehbrt, posted by Angel Girl on June 16, 2004, at 11:22:42
Octopus,
I agree that someone may hold you accountable for what happens because of your illness, but ultimately, the fault does lie with the illness. The offended party may not see that though. If I hurt someone because of my illness (and it has happened) of course that other person will blame me. In the end though, when I have to deal with it, I can either blame myself, which is non-productive, or I can blame the illness and try to find a way to work around that particular aspect of it.If SI is one of your problems, when you cut, who do you blame? I could blame myself for being too weak to stop or prevent it. I could blame the people who had hurt me when I was young, or I could blame the illness and try to find alternate coping mechanisms, knowing full well that the right one may not be found right away.
It's not a way of escaping responsibility, but more a way of finding a mechanism that helps us get better. Blaming ourselves is likely the one thing that most, if not all of us do with extraordinary prowess. We're all top atheletes at that. Feeling that the fault or blame lies with us for every damaged relationship, for every hurt feeling does us a disservice. Those that blame us, or hold us unaccountable are in my opinion, undereducated in regards to our illness.
On the other hand, there are those of us who use illness as a scapegoat. It may be very easy for some to take advantage of another and then blame it on mania, depression, or whatever. These people, if found out, should be held accountable.AG,
I guess that with regards to your friends, it's not really easy. My close friends know that I'm quite sick. They know that I might react irrationally. They've seen it before.
Some prior friends don't have much contact with me anymore, but those whom I really trust have become much more supportive.
I guess that it involves some risk in disclosing what your illness can do. If they know that you can say hurtfull things and not really mean it, then perhaps they will overlook that when it happens. Perhaps they will take your words, and look at how you are behaving and say "Ok, she's not herself today", and then see how you are tomorrow.Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:356808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/357269.html