Posted by octopusprime on April 30, 2004, at 8:20:48
In reply to Re: Mingling » Dinah, posted by tabitha on April 29, 2004, at 23:41:19
tabitha:
burning man, eh? i'd love to go! maybe we can make a trek ...
so you want the mingling without the training. are there any outdoors groups in the area? where i live, there are many hiking groups. you can just drop in for a hike in the woods (if you are reasonably fit). some of them don't have membership fees ... some do. the ones that do are a tighter-knit community. they do slideshows of the great outdoors, and do big fancy mountaineering trips (ski touring, climbing, etc.) ... those are a little fancy for me, but the slack groups are right up my alley! i have met many nice people on hiking trails.
i've been very happy drumming. some groups are a little new-agey and out there for my taste. but others are not. i've met a lot of nice people drumming, and i'm starting to get to know people almost to the point of making friends. (of course, that's after seven months ... it's slow to open up)
oh and also social dancing is good for making friends. i didn't find anybody particularly interesting at the urban barn dances in my area, but the dancing was fun, and the positive male attention during the dance (swing your partner!!!!) was a big confidence boost!
i guess that's the point ... time! i don't know if you are sort of like me ... getting bored of something before you really get a chance to click with a group of people ... but i find that it's harder for me to make friends now, i have to stick with an activity for a long time before it (and the people involved with it) really clicks ...
ps - about men - i socialize almost exclusively with men. the conversational gambits are a little different - ask them about hockey, their vehicles, their work, and they will open up ... they ask about you almost incidentally ... men love talking about themselves and like it when you ask ... but i'm not surprised if they don't pay attention when the topic isn't themselves :)
poster:octopusprime
thread:341175
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040430/msgs/341718.html