Posted by Ilene on April 23, 2004, at 13:41:55
In reply to Working and crying » Ilene, posted by rainyday on April 23, 2004, at 13:25:36
> I am terrified of being fired for poor job performance. Some days I have to go home because I can't stop crying. There is one person in the office who can't say ANYTHING to me without me crying. We keep all communications very superficial now, but if we veer into work-related issues, I tear right up. They have all been extremely accomodating for all my doctors' appointments. When I have to leave, it is a burden on the whole office because I am at the front reception. I don't exactly trust that I won't lose this job, because I have been fired 4 times before and in retrospect, they were all performance related issues where I overracted to criticism or more accurately, perceived criticism.
>
> I feel like I am holding myself together with spit and elastic bands.
>
> So work is a blessing and a curse for me. It takes my mind somewhat off my illness, yet I am constantly conscious of how it interferes with my work.
>
> rainyday.I hate knowing that other people are depending on me. It can increase my anxiety to the point where it's hard to function.
Have you ever tried taking something like Klonopin on a regular basis, instead of Xanax? Maybe it would help you level out.
I used to find yoga classes relaxing. After my father died they made me anxious because I got terribly self-conscious. I might try taking them again, as I'm feeling a little better.
Work related criticism used to be a terror for me. We've been a one-income family for years, so now I wouldn't be as terrified of losing a job (assuming I could get one) as I used to be, because we wouldn't be dependent on my income. I think it would be hard, though. Still, I'd like to use my education and have some social interaction.
I.
poster:Ilene
thread:338644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040422/msgs/339187.html