Posted by ramsea on April 1, 2004, at 5:08:23
In reply to Re: autistic spectrum » zeugma, posted by jane d on March 31, 2004, at 14:29:33
Funny what you said anout when the kids are grown they'll all want to hang out at the withdrawn mom's house. That's my situation. I have Bipolar1, ADD and I believe myself to be some form of autism--it fits too well, my dad has it, one brother and sister have been touched by it, and one of my children. But my teenage daughter is elegantly social, poised, smart in her interactions and popular. My husband is a real social phobic (I am not social phobic, but am a strange, erratic form of social, seeking isolation because it feels good)---ANYWAY---we have no idea how she turned out like this.
In her family of 4, 3 of us have severe, handicap socializing issues. But she's a smooth, decent, intelligent girl with just enough quirkiness to add spark to her art and music. Long story short---there's a group of 17 kids in the same "school gang"--nice kids--and one or another of them is always about the place, and at weekends or after a gig we sometimes have the whole lot piling through, with 6-10 of them sleeping over in our attic. I keep a Big Eye on it all, there's only smoking in the backyard (if I said no smoking they might secretly smoke which could lead to fire ) and so far it's been good. A lot of kids live far from city center so I feel good to keep some of them from too much night wandering, hitching with strangers, etc. Also, when some of them seem to have taken something like booze or whatever, I would be happier they are in my house, because they are safe with us.
Truth or Dare: Truth. I have to take great care of emotions (mine) when they are about. It's a job to me, so I do it. I wear earplugs. I leave the house for long periods and walk in the woods or go to a film. I take extra sleeping tablets, knowing my partner sleeps light. Basically I like no one in the house but me/partner/kids. And I love being here all alone too. But I think it is an honor to have these lovely teenagers feel they have a place to pop into, and sometimes they need money for a bus or phone, or just a bite to eat.
I know my daughter plans to move off in a year and my son has already, so really I am doing a saintly number here because all these people can be very distressing and upsetting, just because they are there. But when it is all quiet I am sure I will look back and feel good about this decision to let kids drop-by pretty freely. But I can't lie and say it is anything but quietly extremely stressful.
I am so happy to meet others who struggle with the autism diagnosis.I tried to see an expert but he put me off and I still fee humiliated and wronged. Thank you for reading this, though I seem incapable of making friends it is my hope that someday I will make one who understands the neurological conditions I deal with, and the bipolar. I can be a generous and non-judgemental person, but I seem to get something important wrong.
Oh well. My dog is bafing in the corner and I'd better go clean it up. Bye for now!
poster:ramsea
thread:329062
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040331/msgs/331179.html