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Re: Flox and Alc.--Was this Abuse?deirdehbrt » inthegloaming

Posted by pegasus on March 15, 2004, at 13:50:05

In reply to Flox and Alc.--Was this Abuse?deirdehbrt, posted by inthegloaming on March 13, 2004, at 1:37:03

Maybe it'll help to look at it this way: What you decided to do was drink while you were taking fluoxetine. What your "friend" decided to do was drink and then sexually assault you in a way that you had previously communicated to her was scary to you, while you were in an altered state, and using body language that was not cooperative. You are responsible only for your altered state. She is responsible for her altered state and the pain she inflicted on you.

Saying "no" is no magic wand. If she was waiting for you to say no, then that's a rule that she made up. You don't have to say no for someone's unwanted advances to be an assault. You didn't say yes, either did you? She should have asked for a yes. It sounds to me like you communicated no in lots of ways: previous conversations, lack of cooperation, being really out of it. The fact that she continued on in spite of all of these things means that what happened was her decision, and therefore her responsibility. Maybe her judgment was impaired as well, but within her impaired judment she assaulted you. That is definitely not ok! In fact, it's illegal in most states.

Please take good care of yourself. I agree that calling a local sex assault hotline might be helpful for you. You can talk to those folks confidentially. You deserve support in this. I hope you are able to find out something that feels best for you to do in this situation.

- p

 

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