Posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 5, 2004, at 1:31:52
I can hardly function. My future is a Goth cliche'. My pathology is very complicated. I react adversely and paradoxically to so many meds that avenue is nearly closed. Hell, I just don't know what to do. One minute Im fine, the next I'm a wreck. I feel like all of humanity either hates me or is afraid of me.
And this hardly bothers me. I feel like Hannibal Lecter without the whole killing thing. I guess it does bother me on some level; I'm writing about it and trying to change although the harder I try the more impossible it gets.
I'm still dealimg with changing my expectations. Not easy but making headway. I just worry about the future. I guess it's like my grandma said once, "I will need to find a lady with money and a trade." Sucks but oh well. Of course, finding anyone at all is just about impossible with my problems.
I know this all sounds like despair but actuall I don't think I care enough to realy despair. Anyway, I hope you guys are doing OK.
poster:socialdeviantjeff
thread:320490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040219/msgs/320490.html