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Re: Nag, as requested » Emme

Posted by pegasus on February 29, 2004, at 17:51:11

In reply to Re: Nag, as requested » pegasus, posted by Emme on February 27, 2004, at 8:23:36

Hi Emme,

Yeah, I spent a lot of time feeling incompetent, too. I think academia is sort of set up for that to a certain extent, though, so I'm sure neither one of us are truly incompetent. And yet, some of us are more sensitive to being put in situations that bring that up.

That's very cool that you are really interested in your field also. I think it sounds great that you want to mentor students, and/or contribute to the environment. My husband has done that, and there are things about it that are great. He also picked a good field for him, and I love to see how jazzed up he can get about it. I think maybe it was the contrast in our attitudes that really made me start thinking I wasn't in the right place. But I'd never badmouth science in general, or academia and a whole (although don't get me started on the patriarchal structure of the whole thing).

Your topic does sound like something that could have been done in my department. So I'm not going to scratch any further into that! I don't want to find out you're one of my best friends or anything! Well . . . you know what I mean. I just need my babble buddies too much to want them to leap out into my real life. But hugs for being here on babble!

It took me about 7 years to make the leap from feeling like my current career was a bad fit, to actually starting grad school again. And maybe a year of therapy, with the whole of last summer pretty much focused on this issue. And a really supportive husband and a few very supportive friends. And a flexible job, and just the right program in my town. So, I know it's a convergence of tricky factors, and I'm really lucky. Hey, I feel so incredibly lucky! Not afraid! I just realized that. Yay for me! (I'm learning from Karen Kay about cheering myself on, too.)

- p

 

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