Posted by Karen_kay on February 10, 2004, at 22:41:43
In reply to Re: Open Thoughts Forum » Karen_kay, posted by Elle2021 on February 10, 2004, at 22:01:54
Well, the thing is that I started out having absolutely no memories of abuse when I began therapy. (Though I had classic sypmtoms of abuse)Then I started to remember things that made me uncomfortable, as well as a couple of occassions. Then I started having nightmares and had a flashback. Now, I don't want to think about my father at all. I'm half tempted to start making things up, would that make him happy?
Seriously though, if I don't have memories at this point how can I expect to talk about them? I realize that by thinking about him, maybe things will start to come. But at this point I don't want them to!!! I don't have as much anxiety as I did when I was thinking about that and going through it. I'm the one who has to deal with it, not him.
Another thing that really bothers me is that he keeps suggesting I bring my mother in, so we can "tell her together." Now, I have no doubt in my mind my mother wouold kill me in his office. He also sugests I bring my sister in "to help her" even though she has no memories. It would honestly ruin her life, and I would have no part in doing that. I think he's a crack pot. My family would hate me.
It's just that I've honestly told him everything I know. I can't create memories that aren't there. I realize that I have a large part of my life that is unaccounted for, because I can't remember most of my childhood. But, I just don't agree this is the right approach to take to get me to work harder. I suppose it's working, as I did think about my fathr. But, I hate being forced to do things that I don't want to do. And I'm certain it's dangerous to rush this type of thing.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:310600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040209/msgs/311901.html