Posted by Psychopoppy on January 15, 2004, at 9:37:34
In reply to Re: My husband looks at me if I'm crazy, posted by deirdrehbrt on January 14, 2004, at 20:58:19
Hi there
Like Dierdre said, most who people suffer from psychological illness have had to deal with the reaction of the "normal" world towards them, which includes parents, spouses, children, friends and co-workers.
And, as I have seen in my own experience with my dear husband, even when your spouse knows and understands what you're going through, they wil still have negative feelings such as anger, resentment, discontentment etc. As my husband admits, these are irrational feelings that arise even after one has rationally acknowledged that the suffering person is not doing this on purpose and is not at fault for their situation.Its always super hard on marriages and spouses. I find that one way for us to keep things sane is to constantly talk about things (which of course most men hate :-), and address each episode of resentment and negativity. Sometimes it goes off well and other times I come away realizing that I could have just let my hubby be and let him figure this one out for himself. But we are learning slowly to cope and to not blame each other for the suffering.
So, my advice is that depending on your husband's personality, you should find a line of communication that works for you both; one in which you can express yourselves and listen to what he is saying and explain to him your suffering in a way that he might understand. Its hard at first but with practicce and persistence, it is possible to establish such a line of communication. Dont give up. I think talking is very very important (and sometimes leaving them alone to figure out their feelings helps too.... "let the man go into his cave and find himself" etc.. :-))
hope my ranting has made sense.
poster:Psychopoppy
thread:300691
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040109/msgs/301093.html