Posted by reluctant on January 2, 2004, at 23:33:08
In reply to Re: Feeling Unworthy and unable ..., posted by Brown_cow on January 2, 2004, at 11:31:16
it's good that you have enough self-awareness to *see* this (i.e. see your overwhelming negative self-assesments as thought & feeling rather than fact) - even though it may not make it feel any better. funny how we can watch our minds put us through hell, eh? well, not funny ha-ha. but i know the situation well (such as you described with the dog) - it's like I can watch the whole train of negative thought happening in slo-mo, knowing that my mood and sense of self is about to take a nose dive - and am unable to do anything about it. it seems as though being able to see & understand the problem should be enough to fix the problem - but I guess if it were, I wouldn't be suffering from depression, I'd just be having an off day.
I've been tiptoeing around meditation & have spent a little time in a zen monastery - but haven't thrown myself into it because I know if I really commit to it I won't be able to look away from whatever I find inside, and I don't know if I'm strong enough yet to hack it. I'm glad it's helping you & would be curious to hear a little more about it . . .
-r.
poster:reluctant
thread:295604
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/295930.html