Posted by fallsfall on December 15, 2003, at 8:21:39
In reply to Re: Kara - Tabitha is wise, posted by tabitha on December 15, 2003, at 0:50:34
Tabitha,
My comment for Kara was meant to be a compliment to you. I'm sorry if I didn't put enough words in the post to make that clear.
I certainly didn't mean to minimize the pain or difficulty that you feel. I thought that your technique was really smart. Writing out the criticisms helps to focus on how painful the relationship was. Asking if you want to hear them again reinforces that things aren't likely to change. Sending them to him is a wonderful picture - you are refusing to accept his criticisms. And not really sending them to avoid contact is so, so wise.
I addressed my post to Kara because it seems to me that she is experiencing some of the same types of pain that you are - Needing to let someone go, but needing to have them stay. Each of you are different, but I saw some commonality in your experiences - this is just from my viewpoint. I could be totally offbase. I thought your techniques and attitude could be useful for Kara. And I wanted her to see that others have similar pain.
So I was trying to point out your useful suggestions to her, and compliment you on your creativeness.
I do recognize that you came to this place in much distress and I really hope that your ideas were helpful in giving you some relief. I certainly didn't want to add to your distress by making you feel misunderstood or minimizing the significance of your situation. I apologize for that.
Hoping this makes things a little better???
Falls
poster:fallsfall
thread:289855
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/289954.html