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Will I Ever Get the *Dys* out of Dysfunctional?

Posted by Susan J on December 12, 2003, at 10:38:55

Been e-mailing a guy for about a month now, from an internet dating service. He seemed really cool, and very interested, and e-mailed several times a day. Seemed very interesting, spoke several languages, was a cameraman for a major network, got to travel, and all that. We seemed to have a lot in common.

Well, I began to wonder why he never wanted to meet....since he e-mailed so often. What was up? I called him on it, and he said his work schedule's really busy but he'd really like to meet me. Still no meeting.

I googled his e-mail address and instead of the name *Todd* which he'd been telling me (all names are false), it came up *Michael* instead. Hmmmmmmm, not sounding good. So I called him (he'd given me his number twice). He didn't answer but the machine said, "hi, this is Michael." Not Todd like he'd been calling himself all this time. He did call back and explain (to my voice mail) that his name was Michael Todd and that folks at work called him Michael and friends called him Todd, and *I can call him Todd."

Well, this isn't getting rid of the red flags, so I politely called him on it again this morning, saying hey, are you Todd Carson or Michael Souder? If there's a reasonable explanation, I'm all ears. If not, please do not contact me again.

Very strong for me. Before, I would've just ignored that and hoped for the best. I was pretty proud of myself for confronting it. He wrote back immediately and was MAD at me. Said work calls him Michael, his friends call him Todd, and *I don't know about you.* And that he's got both his parents' last names....

Soooo, what if he *was* telling the truth? I've just screwed up a *possible* good thing....I've been strong the way I'm supposed to and I screwed it up.....

No wonder bad behavior gets rewarded. :-)
Advice?

Susan


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poster:Susan J thread:289089
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/289089.html