Posted by JimD on November 23, 2003, at 5:16:36
In reply to Saturday night, lonely, posted by kara lynne on November 23, 2003, at 2:15:18
i'm in the same boat as you...not sure what to do about the way that I feel, but think I should share it.
So, the mess that has become my 'personal life' just seems to get continually worse. My ex, who I broke up with over a year ago but have continued to mess around in the interm, making for what has been a rather unhealthy 'quasi-relationship,' and I are having major issues lately. He's started dating someone who is a complete sleezeball. Two separate issues exist as a result: 1. I am hurt by the fact that he's seeing someone else; 2. I am upset that this someone else is who it is.
I'm not sure exactly what to do with myself. My ex is not only my ex, but probably my closest friend. I still love him, and I can't help wanting to be with him. I also can't help not wanting to be his friend while he is seeing someone else. We've had a couple of long, serious 'feelings' conversations about things in the past week, but it doesn't seem to help. I suppose it is nice to get it all out in the open, but the 'resolution' that we reach is not one that makes me feel particularly good. He comes up with "I love you, but I don't want to be together" type of BS, that just leaves me feeling more exposed than before.
My problem is this: I can't be friends with him while he's dating someone else, but I can't shove him out of my life. He means so much to me, and is pretty much in the exact same social circles as I am...making it even more difficult, as complete avoidance is pretty much impossible.
I feel like I have a big decision to make: how do I cope with this? Can I be his friend knowing that he's going home with someone else? Or do I simply need to force distance between us? I feel as though I'm losing either way. I've never been so sad.
poster:JimD
thread:282734
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031113/msgs/282745.html