Posted by octiigon on November 15, 2003, at 3:23:50
Hi everyone.... I recovered from a long time huge depression and anxiety (panic disorder) for around two months.
I don't like to complain- but just wondering if anyone else has experienced this....
I felt alive for about two months- thought I could do anything- never felt as low as I did previously in life.
And then I feel the darkness slipping back into my mind, I don't know how to fight it off. I've tried positive self talk but it just barrages me. The signs of how I was before have started reoccuring (crying myself to sleep- or whenever i'm alone, thoughts of suicide, hatred for those who've hurt me in the past, flashbacks of how those people hurt me, and, finally, overall dissatisfaction with my life)
I know part of the reason why I feel this way. I've been mostly isolated my whole life- and now I feel even more isolated than ever before. Each day begins and ends alone, everywhere I go- I'm alone. If I go to the movies- I'm alone.
It isn't something I like all too much either, it's just i've had so many problems with choosing the wrong friends (aka friends that only want to bring you down) and destructive relationships (aka she was a total and complete sadistic psycho- who thrived on seeing me in pain).
Does anyone else live like this? It would really help me to know if anyone does- I fear I'll fall off the edge completely. I guess I just don't know what to do with myself...
poster:octiigon
thread:279940
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031113/msgs/279940.html