Posted by platinumbride on November 11, 2003, at 0:13:02
In reply to Re: feeling like therapy is a viscious circle » platinumbride, posted by fallsfall on November 10, 2003, at 8:17:56
Thanks for the info and the links. I guess my shrink is more the psychodynamic type.......we have even used astrology to sort of ellucidate (sp?) "issues". He is all about transcending and challenging perceptions that I have...very socratic in a way. Sometimes I feel as if I am defending a case!
I think this approach is good for me....I have done the cognitive therapy thing. It was helpful to me from the ages of 19 till about 22 or so. But my then therapist felt that we had completed our work, and I was eager to agree.
Interestingly enough, it was she who mentioned that I have a strong self destructive streak which meets with an equally strong protective streak.I think now, some 10 years later it is the self destructive streak that is winnng. I guess that kind of answers the "issues" question :)
I have been in therapy, on and off, for these 10 years. The current guy knew me when i was doing well and knows what I am really capable of. I just hate the fact taht we keep coming to the same conclusions and yet no change within ME takes place!
I am a true believer that "you can't force it". All of the crap we feel about ourselves comes from inside, so there must be true change, in its own time, from within in order to really affect things. I believed this long before I entered a room with a couch ha ha. (Ever read Of Human Bondage? That is one of my bases for believing wwhat I do. )
I simply hate that it is taking so long for these things to become resolved within myself!!! So I cancel appointments at the last minute, which is bad news......no continuity. On the other hand, even when I was in serious crisis, and i saw him 3 times a week after a suicide attempt and stint in a hospital, I felt this block from within myself. There are simply things which I cannot even concentrate on in therapy......big ideas,which merit a lot of contemplation....but I avoid them.....I can't deal with them yet.
I'm just a bipolar II chick in limbo, it seems...Well, not really......I am cycling like crazy (no pun intended) and I have trouble motivating myself. Often I don't even leave the house. This is not the over-achiever that I tried to be!!!!
I have gone on so long......
Care to share anything about you and what you are dealing with?Diane
poster:platinumbride
thread:277107
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/278421.html