Posted by Ilene on November 3, 2003, at 17:46:17
In reply to Fear and loneliness; long and laden., posted by kara lynne on November 2, 2003, at 16:11:17
> Hello to anyone reading.
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> I'm trying to keep from spinning out on fear--suddenly faced with circumstances that are putting me into survival/ financial panic. I have always had this fear, but now it's a reality--along with finding out I've accrued a huge debt that I thought had been taken care of. I'm also dealing with the crazy making unreliability of my father, who lead me to believe one thing and ended up meaning another--a life long pattern.
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So he let me know he could no longer give me any financial help, and that I'll have to take over an enormous student loan that he had originally promised--happily--to pay. It was his gift to me to put me through school, he made almost a ceremonial speech about it when I began. Although that part won't be until when he dies, he is getting old--and if I'd known I was going to have to pay for it I would have planned differently. If you saw where I live you would understand that I have not been 'kept' in the lap of luxury. Just enough to keep me in a constant state of anxiety. My father has controlled and manipulated me with his 'help', and I have been working to get out from underneath that. Still the way he did it was humiliating and unfair, and took me completely by surprise. Actually, it didn't take *me* at all into consideration---if he had let me in on his machinations I might have been able to start preparing a little better for this.
>Who signed for the loan? You alone? And your dad said he would pay it back?
Students default on their loans all the time. Not that I'm recommending you do so, but it's not unknown, esp. when the economy is down. You just have to wrap your mind around the new situation.
Which reminds me--my daughter owes me $5.
Ilene
poster:Ilene
thread:275840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/276216.html