Posted by BarbaraCat on September 27, 2003, at 17:44:02
In reply to Re: Redirected: How Monkeys came to type, posted by EscherDementian on September 15, 2003, at 15:54:56
> -But what about the little monkey with the brass balls?
>
Is that the one who clanged them together,
they played Stormy Weather
and lightning shot out of his, er, ah, fanny?Well, this is an interesting story and will probably remind some of one brilliant human scientist who was kicked out of school and later went on to discover relativity. Our monkey with the anatomical disfigurement was expelled from typing school for disruptive behavior (the lightning kept alarming other students). He was later diagnosed with ADHD. This new problem, along with his anatomically challenged state, caused him to feel despondent, alone with his misfortunes.
Was it his fault if uncontrollable squirming in his seat set off a pyrotechnic hazard? No one could understand the difficulty of proper hygiene when one's butt was 1200 degrees and still flaming for a good hour afterwards. He knew he had much to offer but had difficulty with impulsivity issues. He set out on a raft of felled coconut palms to find himself - and possibly others of the same ilk.
Fortunately, on another island was a talented team of simian therapists (the inspiration for the apes on Planet of the...) who convinced him that he was not alone. No, not only were others, even other species, afflicted by ADHD, but monkeys in particular suffered from the embarrassment of Brass Nether Regions, or BNR. They taught him control, faith in himself, basic first-aid, and how to prevent singeing and tarnish.
Renewed in spirit, he was inspired to help others. Perhaps you've heard of kevlar toilet paper? Well, look no further for the inventor. He's one respected furry guy now. But he still can't type.
Oh, BTW, 'KevWipes' were originally invented for monkeys with this anatomical anomaly, but are finding a new home in our Nation's Capital. It seems some folks there need extra-strength help in wiping up their asse - uh, messes.
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:259876
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/263789.html