Posted by Susan J on September 14, 2003, at 14:39:34
In reply to Re:, posted by octopusprime on September 14, 2003, at 12:51:47
Hiya,
I'm just jumping in for the heck of it. Your posts look really interesting. Hope you don't mind. :-)
> It's hard to start all over again, why just last year I started a new job and was "dumped" (not by a lover, but by my former best friend).
<<Wow, more power to you! I just got back from a 2-week vacation in Canada, alone, that I was *so* looking forward to, and it was one of the most depressing experiences of my life. Probably not the wisest thing to go off on your own when you are struggling with depression (loneliness makes me even sadder). So, I admire your resolve to move across county. :-)
> I'm curious - if you could give advice to your 24 year old self, what would you say?
<<That's a really interesting question, and I know you didn't pose it to me, but it makes me think anyway. I'm 36, and I wonder if there was anything I could do differently at 24 to at least lessen the hell I'm in now......hmmmmm.....So here goes, for what it's worth:
1. Be true to yourself.
2. Be kind to yourself.
3. Always be aware of your failings and try to get better, but don't beat yourself up about them. Keep reminding yourself about all your great qualities. :-)
4. Try to build and maintain a strong, healthy support network. I lost a lot of good friends over the years from moves, different interests, etc. and relied solely on the friends of my boyfriend to hang out with. Well, when we broke up, you know the story. It took some work, but I've got a nice, albeit small, network of good friends.
5. Take chances on stuff, just like you are doing. Realizing some success at things that scare/intimidate you, is a wonderful way to build self esteem (necessary to beat depression).
6. Love yourself, faults and all. The longer I have had depression, the more I think that this condition, or any mental health condition that makes you constantly focus on yourself and other's mindsets, makes you so aware of human nature and its strengths, weaknesses, beauty, and horror. I do believe we have more insight and wisdom about human nature than most people do. It is a gift that is painful to acquire, but a gift nonetheless.
7. Find the things that make you happy, and do them over and over and over if you have to. Movies are a great escape for me, and I go often. Often go alone. I'm happier when I get out of the theatre, almost always, than before I went in.
8. Exercise and eat healthfully. This is advice I give and have trouble doing. But it's good advice nonetheless. I always feel better if I'm eating healthy and working out. Always.
9. Always learn as much as you can about depression, etc. Learning, knowing, gives you more control over your situation.
10. If you are in therapy, listen to your gut about your therapist. Think it's not a good chemistry, leave. Like your therapist but something s/he says doesn't ring true? Trust your gut. A therapist is human, too, and doesn't know everything. A therapist's main role is to show you good coping mechanisms and make you explore who you are, so you know what to do with it.
11. Cherish yourself. You are worth it. :-)Susan
poster:Susan J
thread:259428
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/259949.html