Posted by fallsfall on August 27, 2003, at 10:45:10
In reply to Re: fallsfall?, posted by kara lynne on August 27, 2003, at 0:41:55
Well, Kara, I had to go back to the other thread to see what Bear had actually said. I thought he said that he would tell your NEW bear the secret, but you are right. He said that he would tell you.
Bear's secret is that he loves Funny Bones. He loves them more than anything (except me) in the world. I sort of have decided, though, that the melted chocolate and peanut butter really make a mess, and it really isn't easy to give him a bath. So I have restricted him to empty Funny Bones boxes. He always has one up in my room with him (he may have 2 right now?). He has spent many, many a day with his nose buried into that box. Talk about heaven! I have had to become very disciplined - I now only buy Funny Bones when they are on sale. Also, they say on the box that they are good frozen. Don't believe it. They are awful frozen.
Bear thinks that you should get a bear so that s/he can try Funny Bones and we can know if it is a "bear" thing or a "Bear" thing.
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I certainly understand your frustration with "Just go get a job". Is your therapist CBT? I will say that I think that there are SOME times when a kick in the pants is helpful - but that there are other times when it ISN'T.
Have you been able to identify what makes it the hardest to get a job? Would it be too tiring to work 40 hours? Can you not concentrate? Are you afraid to be in a new environment? Are you afraid of the rejection that a job search would entail? Do you not know what you would want to do? ??? I guess the point is to figure out what makes it hard and then see if there is something that you can to to minimize that issue. Or is there some way you can ease into it (part time work, or an easier job for now)? [Of course, I'm not doing any of this - just because I know what to do doesn't mean I'm doing it...]
When I went back to work after my first crash I started by volunteering. I volunteered at the library and the Middle School Computer Lab. Volunteering is wonderful. It gets you out into the world, but there really are no expectations. When you show up they are so thrilled. If you actually do something they are ecstatic. If you call in sick, they hope you'll feel better. Talk about feeling loved! Over time, I increased my volunteer hours. Then the Library hired me as their Children's Librarian (10 hours a week). By the time I was ready to move back into my field, they wanted me to be the Interim Library Director. But I went back to Software Engineering instead. This really let me ease into "working", in a very supportive environment.
Working or volunteering can give you the stimulation and self confidence that you need to get better. I think that your therapist (and mine) are right to say that if we were working we would be doing better. I'm thinking, actually, that as soon as school starts I probably will get back to volunteering.
Your therapy sounds sort of like CBT to me. Sounds like fairly typical CBT (though I am not an expert!). Psychodynamic is very different. My CBT therapist wanted to know all the details of my week. My Psychodynamic therapist doesn't want to know anything about my week.
I've been with my new therapist 2 months - but I see him twice a week. It does take a little while to come to an understanding between you and your therapist. Don't be afraid to say "When you tell me to just go get a job I feel like you aren't understanding my issues".
My youngest is 15. She is so very 15. She has her own ideas of what she wants to happen and it doesn't matter what anybody else's priorities are. We're talking again. It is an ongoing battle. Only 7 months until she is 16. I can't wait.
Don't call him. Don't email him!
poster:fallsfall
thread:254438
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030818/msgs/254677.html