Posted by fallsfall on August 16, 2003, at 10:42:21
In reply to Invisible nature of this illness, posted by Dinah on August 15, 2003, at 18:56:17
I have never seen anything on this board that would make me think that you are lazy. My sense is that you have heard that you are lazy from enough people that you believe it - but that deep inside you you know that it isn't true.
>Today I wanted to make the invisible visible. Mark myself in such a way that makes it clear that I can't just do it anyway. That asking me to just do it anyway is no different than asking any other handicapped person to do what is beyond their capacity. I wanted to quit acting so high functioning. I wanted to stop the exhausting fight to appear normal. Why do I try anyway? Who is it helping? Only those people who want yet more of me. I wanted to act as crazy as I feel.
As I read this paragraph, I had a very strong urge to give you some crayons (they smell wonderful) and a blank piece of paper. There have been times (quite a few, actually), when I have been able to express something in art (picture or sculpture) that I couldn't say in words. (This is what art therapy is all about) And it is less hurtful to you.
You are high functioning and ill, not high functioning and lazy.
(((((Dinah)))))
poster:fallsfall
thread:251172
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/251295.html