Posted by kara lynne on August 15, 2003, at 19:48:36
In reply to Re: Don't touch that phone /fallsfall » kara lynne, posted by fallsfall on August 15, 2003, at 17:23:25
Hi fallsfall,
I'm sorry if I'm seeming like I want you to make my decisions for me. My decision, when I am sane (heh), is not to be with him. I have decided that I don't want to be with him, it's just that I still have the impulse to talk to him. Not that it's a good one, or one I want to indulge, hence the appreciation of support in that area. So it's my decision, but I'm not sure how to implement it--if that makes sense.Like right now, this minute, it's tough. It's Friday night and I went and took out dinner for myself. I'm reminded of my financial predicament (which was helped, although not completely by being with him) and my loneliness. We would have had dinner together tonight, you know...that whole thing.
Now I'm just alone and jobless, and panicked about it. I've really got to start thinking about how to make some money.
So my mind wanders, and I try to talk myself through the impulses. I feel a sudden desperation to talk to him, but I know talking to him is not a good idea. I don't think that's what I *really* want, but it is the illusion.
I don't have plans for the weekend, I'm trying to make some up. I'd like to get some groceries so I don't feel like such a bachelor...for a start.
poster:kara lynne
thread:247662
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/251181.html