Posted by Dinah on August 7, 2003, at 9:17:14
I know that's absolutely stupid. I have so many good things in my life. I should be grateful. I'm terrible for not being grateful.
Somewhere in my muddled brain, I also know there are answers. I'm just so stuck on wishing I were dead that I can't see them.
I don't feel like I'm doing any good for my son. I'm just dragging everyone down. He'd be better off if my husband remarried a real person. My husband should have married a real person.
I'm not planning on killing myself. As stupid as it sounds, I promised my therapist not to kill myself without letting him help me. Letting him help me means going to the hospital. And at this point, that's enough to keep me from killing myself. Isn't that a silly reason?
I need to get some work done. I must get some work done. But all I can think of is wanting to be dead. It's hard to change focus that much.
poster:Dinah
thread:248898
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030727/msgs/248898.html