Posted by noa on July 24, 2003, at 5:59:15
In reply to Re: Feel selfish--TY Everyone...I MEAN it..., posted by jay on July 22, 2003, at 22:36:41
>Once in awhile, I can laugh a bit and I think of a line from Woody Allan; "If God has a problem with me..why can't He just come and tell me to my face?".
Great line!
I have a few Woody Allen quotes that I like, too, that are useful from time to time. But yours is perfect!
I think the process is a bumpy one. Anniversaries are very significant. Even though you aren't a "believer", maybe it would help to pick some rituals to commemorate the anniversaries. You could select rituals you like from one or more religious or cultural traditions, or make up your own. I think this is an area where religion fills a need for people--all religions have rituals for events like death and I imagine most have some form of ritual for anniversaries of deaths, etc. I think it helps to have rituals, religious or not, for such occasions. I don't fully understand the psychology of it, but I know that rituals help people--maybe it provides structure for all the emotion? I don't know. But I wonder if it might help you to create your own rituals for such anniversaries.
I think a support group for people who have suffered losses like yours (spouse, child) could also help.
Take care, Jay.
poster:noa
thread:244152
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/244777.html