Posted by noa on July 17, 2003, at 19:13:35
In reply to Re: How could he do this?, posted by kara lynne on July 16, 2003, at 12:43:21
I think it is also very possible that you aren't "doing anything with your life" (if that is really an accurate assessment) because you were oppressed in your relationship with him. He sounds like the kind of narcisist that can make others feel like dirt without realizing it is him that is making them feel that way. Like my mom was to me when I was growing up, I guess. And pair such a narcisist with someone who internalizes blame and self-doubt? Recipe for disaster for the internalizer.
My point being that you should not judge your accomplishments right now. First of all, you are in a terrible awful funk and that is not a level playing field for self-evaluation. But mainly, because I think you have been oppressed and still don't know what you ARE capable of. If you can get the support you need to heal from the harm done from this relationship, I think you will move on to do good things with your life.
BTW, sometimes, I think people who make it big in the public eye have to be narcisists--ok, so I'm overgeneralizing, but at least sometimes it is true, I'm sure. Like to be president, one probably has to be a bit of a jerk in close relationships (this is a totally non-partisan comment--it even applies to Presidents I've liked and voted for).
poster:noa
thread:242114
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030713/msgs/242990.html