Posted by kalyb on June 20, 2003, at 16:25:03
Landlady = bitch on wheels.
"Would you like to make some rice salad to go with dinner?" she asks. More of an order than a request.
"Okay" I say after a moment's hesitation. She rightly guesses that my hesitation is because I know I can't cook rice. I can't, even after extensive travels in Asia and years of practice."Look, Kalyb," she says irritably, "Rice is DEAD easy. Just put some in a saucepan, put enough water in to just cover it, and boil it. Stir it a lot. That's ALL you need to do." Her condescension knows no bounds.
"Right, then!" I say brightly, thinking: ok, I'll just do it her way. I love rice but I have to severely force down stodgy badly cooked rice (the kind I always end up making). I hate bad rice. Thing is, landlady's rice is always that kind....
I go into the kitchen and get some rice out of the cupboard. I spot a small bag of easy-cook Rice, which I bought myself, thinking I might get some better rice out of it someday. Following her instructions I put some in a saucepan and start to add water. Then I decide to wash it a few times first, since I know that usually helps to stop stodginess.
She walks into the kitchen. "Do you think this is going to be enough?" I ask, showing her the saucepan with water drained off.
"I don't know why you're doing it that way!" she says crossly, pushing past me, pulling the pan out of my hands and dumping the rice into a sieve. She then fills the saucepan with water and sets it on to boil. She looks at the sieve of rice. "No. That probably isn't going to be enough."
"Okay, I'll add some more then," I say levelly, adding another handful. "Enough now?"
"Probably." she says, without loooking.
"I might as well do the whole packet then," I say, as there was less than a handful left. "It was only a small packet and there's hardly any left."
"Oh do it then. But there will probably be too much, and it will get wasted. As usual." She looks at the package I'm holding. "That's pudding rice!"
"No it''s not," I say calmly. "It's easy-cook rice. The packet I bought last week, if you remember?"
"Oh." She goes out of the kitchen.While waiting for the rice to boil, I look in the fridge for ingredients to add to the rice salad. I start cutting up some celery, a bit of red and yellow bell pepper, and grate a raw carrot.
Enter landlady.
"Oh." she says, peering at my efforts.
"What?" say I.
"Nothing."
I carry on.
"That's not how I would have done it, but never mind," she says, going out again.Ten seconds later she waltzes back in. "PROPER rice salad has peas and beans in it."
"Does it? Well, we can just have this as side salad, and I'll put peas and beans in with the rice."
"No, no - don't bother!"
I carry on chopping.
"It doesn't matter because I won't be eating any of it anyway."
Waltz out.I stare at my knife for a few seconds.
What's got up her skirt? I wonder. Ah.... I know.... it's her partner's day off and he wants to fire up the barbecue tonight. She hates barbecues, and furthermore is a vegetarian. He wants to do his own thing, and I'll be sharing because I like barbecues and eat meat.No point in me asking nicely if I can cook her anything. I'll get my head bitten off.
Barbecue's over now. I cooked and ate with her partner a bit and had a chat outside over a beer. Started packing up to come inside when she sweeps out. "Leave that!" she barks at me, as I put some things back in the fridge.
I say nothing, and I "leave that" to come up here to my room to get online in my own space. They're having an argument and slamming doors down there. I daren't go down. This is just unbelieveable. I can't please her no matter how I try. I'm 40 years old and this is like living with my parents!!
Kalyb xx
(fed up)
poster:kalyb
thread:235513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030617/msgs/235513.html