Posted by Greg on June 14, 2003, at 19:40:57
In reply to Well, I told him, posted by Dinah on June 14, 2003, at 11:40:17
Dear Dinah,
I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to have this conversation. And I'm sorry it wasn't more productive for both of you as should have been. Sounds like possibly the fear of the unknown was taking place here, your hubby really wasn't sure what to expect from you and went on the defensive. A natural reaction I suppose, but it doesn't excuse the behavior.
The others are right, this too shall pass. But knowing this doesn't make it any easier to deal with while it's happening. Having those closest to us offer unconditional support can go a long way in helping us navigate the storm. I hope that you will come here and talk to us about the idealations. You know that we understand, most of have been there, I have. We can only offer a cyber hand to hold and shoulder to cry on, but they're there if you need them.
You been here for so many others, I hope you'll let us return the love you've given so freely.
(((((Dinah)))))
Greg> I wasn't foolish enough to tell him about the ideation. But when he asked me if I was ok when he found me in bed with the covers over my head again, I admitted that no, I wasn't. I told him my fears that I was sliding into another depression like after giving birth. But emphasized that I might just be afraid of that, that it might not be true. It might pass.
>
> He got angry of course. A sort of Oh no, not again, anger. A sort of helpless to do anything anger. I've only had one bout of serious depression in the over ten years we've been married, but he sure didn't like it. He let me know that I was still expected to do my wifely duties (not sex, the housewifely duties). But he also told me that it wasn't exactly news. It had been obvious that something was wrong.
>
> I told him how his holding me at night was a help. And how getting angry with me was certainly his right, but was probably counterproductive to his goals. And we discussed all the stress I was under right now.
>
> Am I glad I told him? No, not particularly. But it didn't go as badly as I had feared. Probably because I didn't mention the ideations.
poster:Greg
thread:233948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/234029.html