Posted by Dinah on June 5, 2003, at 20:15:55
In reply to Loneliness, Shyness, Social Phobia?, posted by Emily Barrett on June 4, 2003, at 3:22:06
Hi Emily,
I was the designated picked on kid in sixth thru ninth grades, so I know how unbelievably painful it can be. I think people are just now realizing the serious consequences of bullying. But back then, if I heard just one more person tell me that if I just laughed instead of crying I'd have.... Well, I did hear everyone say that, so I suppose I wouldn't have done any more than I did.
I'm not good with large crowds. Everything starts to feel weird and far away. Joining in seems impossible. Small groups are way better for me, and I prefer socializing that way. But if I must go to a large crowd, my technique is to look around for someone who looks even more uncomfortable than I think I do. And there are always a few people in a large group who feel uncomfortable - not just me. And I'll join them with a comment or a question about the event. If I've used my shy radar correctly, they are usually very happy to talk and I am suddenly no longer alone. I can't manage social rhythm in larger groups anyway, so two couples, or two or three people is just about right for me.
The other thing that helps is having something else to focus your attention on, like a pet or a young child. That only works in certain situations, naturally. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:231308
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/231780.html